The sinking feeling when:
- You put a load of clean white laundry out, go inside and read a book, and the sky cracks open and starts pouring down. Nature blows.
- Checking Netbank at the end of the week confirms all your worst expectations.
- Your phone bill arrives, rubbing salt into your wounds.
- Your friends have spent this summer backpacking all over Europe-seeing great works of art, visiting cultural wonders, and dallying in continental romances with Sergio and Hans- while your summer was spent ploughing through seven seasons of the West Wing.
- You realise there are ONLY 32 episodes of The West Wing left EVER for you to watch for the first time, and you will die without it and this is is no Harry Potter 9 situation. Oh wait- there's NOT THAT EITHER.
- You realise your TV obsession is affecting your mental health.
- The date is the 31st and this means Vodafone's after their pound of flesh.
- You didn't bring an umbrella.
- Facebook changes it's layout and now you have to think about "Cover Pictures." Hmm, this one shows I have lots of friends! This one shows I'm "meaningful." This one shows I like walks on the beach! This one shows how pretty I am (and that I'm a narcissist.)
- You are so under-dressed. Overalls seemed like a good, quirky in- a -cute-zooey-deschanel-girl idea at the time?
- You are so overdressed and cannot muster up the gall to just "rock it." Yes, i wear stilettos everywhere?
- That bitch is wearing your dress.
- Your team is losing. Badly. And people are leaving the stadium, deserting the game in droves. You feel all twisted inside and bad for the coach except you'd rather be at home too watching a movie.
- Your chess opponent is scarily aggressive, and every move you make is on your backfoot. Je ne comprehende!
- Checkmate.
- The deadline is looming.
- The white page is mocking you. MS Word is a smug bastard.
- When you realise Glee will never be magical again. Even with Darren Criss and his Eurasian face and snazzy moves.
- You know no-one at the party/bar/work function.
- You're saddled with the unwanted pressure of being designated map reader and direction giver. Turn..here? I think...
- You're going on a family holiday.
- You realise you're not a kid anymore.
- You watch the news.
- You're worried for Obama.
- It hits you that Americans are sooooooo stupid.
- And the French are stuck up racists.
- The cockroach's back.
- You're the only one not drinking.
- It's Monday morning.
- You have NOTHING TO WEARRRRRRRRRRR.
- You're at the poker table.
- You're forced to sing in public.
- You have to trek there on public transport.
- They cancelled Veronica Mars and Bored to Death.
- You're late. Again.
- You find out Ryan Gosling is dating EVA MENDES. THE LEATHERY WITCH. Why doesn't he see meeeeeee?
- People are watching you on TV.
- Your brother got to the ice-cream before you, and now it's a melty mess.
- You're EARLY for work and have nowhere to go.
- It's 3pm already and you've accomplished nothing so far, meaning another day WASTED. You may as well die t
omorrow.
- You're being tailed on public transport and NO IT'S NOT LIKE HOW IT IS IN THE MOVIES. It's scarier.
- It's pens down, and you remember you 'saved' that question for later.
- Your clothes are missing.
- Everyone's waiting for you to finish.
- You've stepped in quicksand. (As you do on the streets of Sydney.)
- You're bogged in a quagmire. Of imagination deficiency and writing turgidity.
- You'll never see her/him again.
- Someone else is also at the lift.
- A thigh-slappingly hilarious Facebook group has "your" instead of "you're" in its name. But you have standards.
- They've misspelt your name.
- The phone rings.'Unknown Caller'.
- You missed the hoop.
- It was all just a dream.
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